The best kind of first date

First Date

The Best First Date

Today marks four years from my boyfriend and I’s very first date.

As you know, my relationship posts are largely (err entirely) inspired by this man, so I figured the least I could do is reflect on the moment that started it all.

See, I’m all about the tragically funny first date stories – seriously I live for them. Unfortunately, this is not that kind of story. But before you exit out of this window, I promise no sappy love ballad. Well…maybe just a little sap.

Because while I know I’m extremely biased, I’m the first to say our first date was awesome. The best first date ever. And you know what we did?

Absolutely nothing.

We sat on a beach for four hours talking. We didn’t eat or drink anything.  There wasn’t a horse and carriage ride, or a sporty activity where he showed off his impressive athleticism. The man didn’t even get me flowers. To everyone else, the date was underwhelming at best. Which is hilarious because I couldn’t have been more overwhelmed by the evening.

Prior to us meeting and going out, I had spent years never making it to the second date. It wasn’t that the dates were bad or the men were grotesque. Honestly, I just never felt compelled to see the person again. You know that “eh” feeling you get after eating a salad when you really just wanted a burger. That.

At that point I figured it was going to take a pretty spectacular first date to get me even interested in going out with someone again. And of course, since I grew up watching A Walk To Remember on repeat, you can imagine what a spectacular first date looked like in my head.

And then four hours doing nothing on a beach happened.

I left our first date mostly confused.  Confused because I actually wanted to see this person again. Confused because in all those hours of talking *sober* I was never once bored or disinterested. Confused because I actually gave a shit.

Because while the date wasn’t dressed up or elaborate – it was in it’s own way, spectacular.

I think the best kind of first date is one where the focus is on the person and not the date itself. Only then, will you truly get to know the person sitting next to you. And if a connection is there, you’ll know it.  Time literally flies and you wish the date would never end. You leave feeling a little confused because even just a few hours with that person flipped a switch inside your brain. You know, the switch that says, “wait a second, I think I kinda like him.” 

On a first date, we’re conditioned to put emphasis on where he takes us or what he planned. And while that’s something to consider, it’s not the most important. The first date with my boyfriend broke my notions of what romance should be. Instead I was given a no-frills date, but an opportunity for a true and real connection with another person, and it made all the difference. For the first time in a while, I could literally do nothing with someone and I wasn’t bored to tears. I was actually quite the opposite.

Since that night in April four years ago, my boyfriend and I have had our fair share of elaborate and adventurous dates. But that first one will always hold a special place in my heart, not because it was the first, but because when it was over I knew I didn’t want it to be the last.

Ok, that was a little sappy. Oops. 

 

3 Comments

  • Andrew Miles

    Yes this was a little sappy, but there was a lot of truth here too. 🙂 The first dates that my woman and I had were walking through a forest, and also walking along a beach (in the middle of winter too – it’s quieter then!).

    No distractions, just the opportunity to pay full attention to someone that captivates you. And if you can do basically nothing and still want to see them again – then that’s a pretty good idea you are a good fit for the long haul!

    • meredith

      First of all – thanks so much for reading Andrew! I love hearing from my male readers 😉 Glad you could relate. Sounds like doing “nothing” paid off for both of us!

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